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1.
Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
2. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool
on the other.
3. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer
to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
4. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
5. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes
he got the biggest piece.
6. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by
feminine water power...
7. Dictionary : A place where you will find Success comes before Work.
8. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody
disagrees later on.
9. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
10. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
11. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
12. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
13. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually
do.
14. Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide
that nothing can be done together.
15. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
16. Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
17. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when
dead.
18. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you
actually look forward to the trip.
19. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into
a river.
20. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See
I am not injured yet."
21. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
22. Father : A banker provided by nature
23. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
24. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
25. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence
after.
26. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his
bills.